"I can change the world, I'm Mexican!"

"I can change the world, I'm Mexican!"

Have you ever heard of "The Bronze Screen?" It's a documentary; 100 years of the Latino image in Hollywood. &I saw this... 2nd semester in college, English 124. How I got this far in english class, I don't know. But that's a whole other story ;)

Anyways, watching this film was... inspiring? Well, of course. Here I am, a Mexican-American teen trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life... I'm a writer. That's what I do best. That's why I take the higher English classes my freshman year while my friends are a few class behind. I'm a writer. That's why I spent the last four years of my life writing genius words with no meaning. Seven years, if you count the novel I wrote when I was 12. That I still haven't finished re-writing. I'm a writer. That is why I can write essay after essay for class and not get tired of it. I just get tired of that A, followed by the comment "You write well." I'm a writer and I know I'm good at it. But could there possibly be more. Well, there has to be. I'm Mexican.

I'm a singer. I've been singing for as long as I can remember. What I remember is going crazy singing Selena's "Amor Prohibido" with my cousins. I'm a singer. That's why I know every Selena, Beyonce, Ximena Sariñana, &Juan Gabriel song there is. &Why I choose to listen to music only if its singable. I'm a singer. That is why I drink tea every night, and freak out when I feel a soar throat emerging. I'm a singer. I go to sleep wishing I could sing that late at night. I wake up to a beautiful morning singing "Una Mañana." I sing when I'm happy. I sing when I'm upset. I sing when I'm angry. I sing when I'm bored. I sing when I'm excited. I sing when I'm doing chores. I'm a singer. That's why when I sing I feel like I'm on top of the world. Like there's a realese of everything that build up inside of me. I guess that I'm the only one that sees it in me, because when I sing its not about how good I am, or if I hit the note, or if I do vibrato too much or not at all. But that's all I hear. "So, you want to be a singer? Work on this this and this, and maybe you'll get hired." Haha, righttt. There's something more, right? There has to be. I'm Mexican.

I try to be an actress. I've been in two musicals within the last year. Three in my life, if you count James&the Giant Peach when I was ten. But I have never even considered the idea of being an actress until my Junior year in high school. I thought, just maybe I could do acting. I mean, I can sing right? So I auditioned for the school play "Little Shop of Horrors." I got callbacks, no part. I auditioned half a year later for "Godspell" where everyone got a part! Then half of year after that I auditioned for "Grease" and got lead, as Roger. I figured if I could pull off a guy role I must be an adequate actress. Still not as much self fullfilment as singing. And not nearly as genius as my writing. But there is always more, because I am Mexican.

I am Mexican. I have a thousand tios and tias and cousins and neices and nephews. I know what a good tamale tastes like because I eat a thousand every year at christmas, and for months afterward. I am American. I know my U.S. history and am obsessed with owning the most modern technology. I drink Coca Cola, &Eat cheeseburgers and fries and never get tired of the grease. I am Mexican-American. Sometimes I talk too fast and stumble over my words in English. Sometimes I don't pronounce words right in Spanish. Pero veras que todo se aprende.

I am Mexican-American. A minority... or um... MAJORITY. You would think that could make all the difference. I am not going to change my name to fit in. Or the color of my hair. I shouldn't have to. We're in the 21st century. Something has got to change. And I'd probably get further with my dreams if I fled the country in search for the perfect opportunity. But truth is, I CAN change the world. I want to change the world. I need to change the world. Because I am Mexican-American.